Never Again
by waddlesthepenguin123
Summary: Skipper leaves him team,no one thought it would happen,but it did but what happens when Skipper is forced to rescue is former soldiers from...kowalski? slash,contains Pripper and Kipper changed rating to T,my first fanfic,so reviews and advice would be appreciated
1. Chapter 1

Never Again

Chapter 1

So this is my first fanfic, so don't be too hard on me please guys, but reviews and advice are very welcomed, and yeah, its a slash

pairings: Pripper and Kipper, hard to explain, just read xD

"I'm leaving" Skipper said, pulling Kowalski aside.

"What!" Kowalski exclaimed in shock.

"Oh shut your beak!" Skipper said angrily.

"Listen Skipper, if this is about the Doris thing, I told you, she kissed me, I wouldn't-"

~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~

"Mission accomplished boys!" Skipper said enthusiastically, holding up his flipper for high fives.1,2,where was the third? "Kowalski?" Skipper asked, looking around for his mate. He became more and more worried as they found no sign of him. _Oh god, what if something happened, I should have paid more attention, he cant end up like Manfredi and Johnson _Skipper thought. He waddled over to the next enclosure, spotting a certain dolphin and certain penguin... Skipper felt sick but, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. _No, it couldn't be true, Kowalski loved him, not some stupid dolphin. _Skipper let out a sob and quickly turned away. Kowalski hear him and turned. "Skipper" Kowalski shouted, pulling himself away from the dolphin, but he was too late as he watched Skipper waddle away.

~~~~~~~present time~~~~~~~

" I thought you cared about me as much as I cared about you, and I was wrong" Skipper whispered. " I mean, what kind of a unit has a... a... gay leader" his head hung low as if embarrassed at saying the word. "No, I don't deserve this position anymore Kowalski"

"But Skipper, you cant just leave me, I mean us, the team, what kind of leader would that be?" Kowalski pleaded. "What am I going to tell Rico, and Private, innocent naive Private, he will be devastated"

"That's not my problem anymore, it's yours" Skipper said and with that left HQ for the last time.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_I cant believe it, I just left. Left my team, my soldiers...Kowalski. No! Kowalski was nothing to me anymore_. "I'm a horrible leader" Skipper voiced his thoughts aloud. _Where would he go? He had no one_. His thoughts occupied his mind and he ended up in the park. Exhausted, he plopped down underneath a tree and stared up at the sky. He had always trained to be the best he could ,trusting nobody, but he made the worst mistake possible, he fell for Kowalski. Atear slid down his beak and he swiped it away angrily, _stupid emotions._ He had opened up to the scientist, told him things he could never admit to himself, and now here he was, heartbroken. Trusting people backfired and he promised himself he would never trust anybody again.

~~~meanwhile, at HQ~~~

"Hey, Skippah, Kowalski, we got you snow cones!" Private said happily, bounding into HQ. Rico regurgitated two rainbow snow cones and held them in his flippers, offering one to Kowalski.

"Um, no thanks Rico" Kowalski said nervously.

Rico shrugged as he swallowed the snow cone.

"Where's Skippah?" Private asked looking around.

_Uh oh _Kowalski thought as he took a deep breath. Just as he was about to speak, Private let out a squeal.

"The Lunacorns, they're on the telly, yayyyyy!" he said in his British accent.

Kowalski let out an involuntary sigh of relief, but Rico picked up right where Private left off.

"Skipper?" Rico mumbled in that garbled language of his.

"Oh go away Rico" Kowalski muttered, shooing Rico away with his flippers.

But Rico wouldn't give up "Skipper?" he asked more urgently.

"Shut up!" Kowalski whispered fiercely, clamping his flipper over Rico's beak.

Rico glared at the taller penguin and struggled out of his grip. "SKIPPER?" he shouted accusingly.

Private looked up from his TV show. "Rico's right, where's Skippah?"

Kowalski gulped,_ why did he have to tell them this?_ "Um, well, Private, actually, he's gone"

Private let out a whimper and looked up at the older penguins. His eyes filled with tears and he looked up at Kowalski. "YOU LIAR!" Private shouted, flippers flailing, tears streaming down his face. "Skippah would never leave us, he's Skippah, he doesn't quit! He wouldn't leave us..." Private cried.

Kowalski finally broke down "He left all of us Private, I was here, he left us! How could he?" The usually strong scientist sobbed.

Even Rico had tears in his eyes as he hugged Miss. Perky.

Private suddenly got up and waddled over to the exit. He climbed the ladder and took a breath of fresh air.

Rico noticed Private leaving "Where goin?"

"I'm going to find Skippah and bring him back, he must be hurt or lost or something because he wouldn't leave us, ever, and I'm going to prove Kowalski wrong for once" and with that Private ran away into the night to find his leader.


	3. Chapter 3

so sorry for not uploading sooner guys,my computer broke,so im updating from my phone,that said,sorry for any typos. oh and yeah,i realized i forgot the disclaimer *facepalm* so yeah,i dont own P.O.M or anything,cuz if i did,the show wouldn't be ending :'c

chapter 3

"Skippah!,Skippah!" Private shouted until his voice was hoarse, had searched the entire zoo, and he could see the sun beginning to rise,but he wouldn't give up. _If i were Skippah,where would i go?_ Private wondered,but came up blank,the problem was that he didn't know,doubted anyone these years his leader had helped train them,and knew all their secrets,yet they knew nothing about him. Private saddened as he thought of their ex-leader,if it hadn't been for Skipper rescuing him,Private would probably dead,he shivered as he remembered that fateful day.

-flashback-

"Mama!" Little Private cried,trying to swim,although the sea had other ideas as the little penguin was thrown against the rocks time and time again."Mama!Help!" the little penguin shouted again,trying to stay afloat in the rough waves."I just want Mama!" he struggled to see through the rough waves as he spotted a familiar figure."Mama!" he exclaimed as he began paddling over to the female,he watched his mother bobble in and out of his vision,but he was getting so tired...Suddenly,she was gone,pulled underwater by something,he watched as a shark snapped his jaws closed and spotted Private,and began swimming swiftly over to the younger little penguin let out a scream and gathered his last strength to swim towards the shore,he was almost there,but the shark was gaining on him and he let out a whimper and finally stopped swimming,he just didn't have the , as the shark was about to lunge at him,he felt himself moving,but...he wasnt doing it,he nervously looked through the water and saw an older penguin holding his flipper,guiding him across the water to safety. He was suddenly thrown up onto the rocks and the older penguin followed. Private whimpered again and looked out to sea."Mama" he whispered

The older penguin bent down to pick up the little guy."Im sorry about your mom" he said sadly.

"Why did you rescue me?" the little penguin asked.

"Well,I couldn't just let a fellow penguin die,now could I?" Skipper responded. "By the way,my names Skipper" he held the little penguin to his chest.

"Private" the little penguin squeaked out.

Skipper noticed the cuts and bruises on the little guy. "Well then Private,let's go home and get you fixed up"

-real time-

Private couldn't help but hang his head at the thought of Skipper not being around anymore,he was passing the lemur habitat when he heard a voice.

"Well Hello stupidy penguin" King Julian chimed

Private sighed "ello Julian"Private decided to use this as his chance. "Have you seen Skippah?"

"uh no,silly penguin,why would i want to talk to that stupidy penguin"

Private sighed,walking away , ignoring King Julian asking if he wanted to 'shake his booty'

so he's not in the park Private thought sadly,and decided to check the park.

Private waddled into the park cautiously,knowing this was his last resort,_'if skipper wasnt here..._' Private couldn't finish the thought. He looked out at the expanse of trees and grass,finding his commanding officer would take quite awhile. Private began crying again then, it just wasnt fair,why was he the only on searching? Was he the only one who cared? Private noticed a dot of black and white in the distance and quickly began to run towards it. "Skippah?" As Private drew closer he saw the penguin was sitting at the base of a tree. "SKIPPAH!" Private shouted feeling as if his heart would explode from happiness. "Skippah! Skippah! I found you!" Private sobbed happily,launching himself at his leader and tackling him with a hug. He snuggled next to his leader and tightened his grip,afraid that if he let go Skipper would be gone again.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4

Okay guys, sorry for not updating this in awhile, life keeps getting in the way, I seriously feel bad. Anyway, big shout out to Sweet Pripper, because seriously, I'll be the first to tell you, my grammar and punctuation and stuff like that sucks, but I really appreciate how Sweet Pripper pointed out my mistakes how to fix them, so, thanks so much! I also apoligize its so short,I'll try and update again tomorrow

"Private" Skipper said, clearing his throat.

"Oh, Skippah, sorry" Private said bashfully as he stood up. " I...I missed you and Kowalski said that you left...wait...your fine" Private said, the little penguins voice going flat. "Your, your fine, you really did leave." Private felt the sadness come back along with the hurt. "You left us? You left us! You really left, Kowalski was right, you don't care, you left, and to think I was worried about you, thought you were dead or hurt, I cant believe it, you chose to leave us." Private turned and slowly waddled away, tears forming in his eyes._ Skipper didn't care about us. I had stood up for Skipper, and I was wrong._ _Now I have to go back and face Kowalski, this is going to be embarrassing. _He turned and looked back over his shoulder to the penguin he used to idolize ,looked up to as a role model, but all that was gone in an instant. Instead, he was left with a feeling of sadness and loss, and those feelings were the worst of all.


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5

** A/N** So, sorry for the long time to update, but I finally switched internet providers so I can hopefully update more c: and yeah, its kind of a long chapter too, just a warning. And the Kowalski violence part was murder to write, so yeah, enjoy :D, well you probably wont enjoy the violence part...but you get my point, I'm going to stop rambling now

Private slowly waddled back to HQ, feeling as lost as he ever had, he felt alone...He cautiously slid back the fishbowl and climbed down the ladder. He heard a commotion from inside Kowalski's lab and opened the door.

"What are we going to do without Skippah?" the younger penguin cried. Kowalski sat on the floor, working on his newest invention. Private waddled towards Kowalski, arms out, wanting to be comforted.

"What are you doing? Don't touch me!" Kowalski exclaimed as Private flinched and backed away. Private ran out of the lab and climbed into his bunk, squeezing his toy Lunacorn as tight as he could. _I just wanted a hug, I hate this, why did this have to happen; I just want everything back to normal. I just want Skipper back._ Eventually, the little penguins fell asleep.

Private was woken a few hours later. "Gah, I can't stand that stupid toy!" Kowalski shouted, grabbing the Lunacorn angrily. "Why don't you grow up?" Kowalski shouted at the little penguin, ripping the head off the Lunacorn and threw the pieces into the night. Private watched in fear as Kowalski advanced towards him. "You pathetic excuse for a soldier." Private jumped up from his bunk but found himself backed up against the wall. The taller penguin lifted his flipper and slapped the younger. Private stumbled but felt Kowalski's flipper hit him again. Private cowered as the taller penguin walked away. "We start training tomorrow." he said coolly then locked himself in his lab. Private looked up in shock as he heard the door slam. He could still feel the sting in his cheek. Private kept replaying the words in his mind...they hurt. _What was wrong with Kowalski? Why was he angry? He had never hit me before..._ Private felt his heart beating fast, he was afraid Kowalski could tell what he was thinking and that he would become angry again.

Rico waddled over to the smaller penguin and hugged him protectively. He hacked up a chainsaw and looked at Private questionably. "What! No Rico! It's still Kowalski, you can't hurt him!" Rico sighed and swallowed the chainsaw again, glaring at the door Kowalski had disappeared behind. Rico walked over and began brushing his doll's hair, keeping and eye on the lab door.

Private lifted the fishbowl hatch and leapt out onto the concrete. He spotted his Lunacorn a few feet away. "Rico? Have you got a needle and thread?" Private asked, peering down into HQ. Rico handed Private a needle and purple thread. "Thanks Rico" Private waddled away, hugging the damaged toy.

He ended up in the park, trying not to stab himself with the needle. Private stopped when he saw where his feet had taken him. _Why did I come here, Skippah left for God's sake, he doesn't care!" _Private mentally slapped himself for automatically seeking Skipper. Yet something made him keep walking, no matter how much his brain shouted 'no, Skipper had left them' he kept waddling forward until he was standing in front of his ex-commanding officer. Private watched the sleeping penguin. Skipper looked peaceful for once. Private smiled and dismissed any thoughts of waking Skipper. He sat down at the base of the tree and carefully lifted the needle. "Ouch!" He exclaimed, accidentally jabbing himself with the needle. He wiped away the blood on the grass and tried again. He whimpered as the needle found his flipper again. "Ow! Stupid needle" Private screeched, angrily throwing the needle to the ground. _Maybe glue would work instead; it sure would be less painful. _He jumped as he heard Skipper stir. _Oh no, I woke him, he probably hates me, thinks I am a clingy freak..._

Skipper noticed someone beside him and quickly jumped into a defensive position. "Private?" he asked, his voice confused.

"I'm sorry Skippah, I didn't mean to wake you"

"What are you doing here? Did Kowalski send you to spy on me?" Skipper demanded.

"What? No Skippah!" Private faltered as he racked his brain for an excuse. _Why had I come here?_ "I just thought...I wanted to know why you left" Private half lied. The little penguin did want to know why his leader had left, but that was not the reason he had come to the park. In fact, even the little penguin was not sure why he had come here.

Skipper sat down again. "Well Private" he started but his mind went blank. _Why did I leave? _He did not know, he honestly and truly did not know. He felt he had left for an important reason, but what? What would be so strong that would make him desert his soldiers? His mind went into overdrive as he tried to remember why and what to tell Private...

He glanced at the younger penguin, he was sitting, fidgeting, waiting... Skipper tore himself from his thoughts and blurted, "I don't know." He saw Privates face go from surprise to confusion to hurt and immediately wanted to take the words back. He should have made an excuse up.

"So you left for no reason?" Private asked quietly and surprisingly calm.

"No Private, I...can't remember," He admitted. He hung his head. "I can't remember, I don't know why, but I don't remember that day at all, I don't understand, I wouldn't leave my team." His voice cracked as he looked at the younger penguin sadly. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You really don't remember?" Private asked concerned.

"It's like that day never existed, I just don't get it. This is when I would ask Kowalski for options," He said sadly.

"Are you really telling the truth?" Private questioned, remembering what Kowalski had said.

"You got to believe me Private" Skipper pleaded. "I'd never leave the team, why would I desert my men? If I did, I would not deserve to live. I would rather be dead then coward"

"Then comeback" Private challenged.

Skipper thought about it. He could go back to his team and explain. Kowalski would have options and Rico; well Rico would want to blow something up, like normal. But what if they didn't believe him? Not everybody had a good heart like Private.

"Please" Private added. Skippers mind was made then as he looked at the sad younger penguin.

"Okay" Skipper grinned and began walking towards the zoo. Private skipped to catch up the older and smiled widely.

They reached the borderline between the zoo and park and suddenly Skipper felt himself run into something solid.

"Skippah, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Private, that was weird." he chuckled. He walked forward but was stopped again.

"What the deuce?" he shouted, walking down a couple feet and trying once more. Again, he was stopped. It was as if an invisible brick wall blocked their path to the zoo. Private walked over confused. He hesitantly walked forward and reached the zoo side safely. He noticed Skipper on the other side and came running back.

"How come I can enter the zoo but you can't?" He questioned.

"I don't know Private" Skipper said feeling deflated.

"Well we can't give up" Private said, grabbing Skippers flippers in his own and began pulling him towards the zoo. More of the same, as Skipper was once again stopped, but this time Private kept pulling.

Skipper felt his head pushed up against a barrier and said, "Private it's not working, and it's a little painful." He felt a small crunch in his beak and Private quickly dropped his flippers. Skipper dropped to the ground and rubbed his beak

"Sorry Skippah" Private said embarrassed.

Skipper let out a long sigh. "We might as well give up Private, go back to HQ, you need some sleep."

Private saw the sun peeking over the horizon. "Too late for that Skippah" he laughed.

"Private, you better go back, the team needs you"

"But the team needs you too!" Private cried.

"I know Private, I'll figure it out eventually"

"I'll help you Skippah, I'll be back later and we can solve this, I promise." Private said before waddling away towards the zoo.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**A/N **yayyy,i finally updated c: So this chapter was murder to write,you can probably tell why after you read it,also I was wondering if i should change the rating,its getting a little more violent than i wanted Dx

As much as he hated to admit it, Private could hardly keep his eyes open. He dreaded the thought of meeting Kowalski again, but he was so tired. He slid the fishbowl over and quietly dropped to the HQ floor. He looked around and only spotted Rico sleeping in his bunk and let out a sigh of relief and climbed into his own bunk, quickly drifting off to sleep. He wasn't asleep long when he heard Kowalski.

"Wake up men!" Kowalski shouted, roughly pulling them out of their bunks. Private landed on the floor with a thud. "Hurry up and eat" Kowalski demanded. "We have to prepare!" He paced the HQ angrily. Private stood up and rubbed his sore bottom. _Prepare for what? Kowalski's finally gone bonkers. _He saw Kowalski eyeing him warily and quickly swallowed a couple fish. "Outside" Kowalski ordered. The younger followed meekly, while Rico made it obvious he was not happy.

Once they were outside, the taller turned to Rico. "Have you got a problem soldier?"

Rico glared at him "Hate 'walski!"

"You hate me? Well that's good, I'm not to fond of you either!" Kowalski shouted and launched himself at Rico. But Rico saw him coming and dodged out of the way. Kowalski landed sprawled on the concrete and let out a groan. Rico stood over and him and grinned wickedly. Private saw the look in Rico's eyes and became scared. He had never seen such pure violence and hatred before. Rico noticed Kowalski trying to stand up and quickly kicked him back down again. "Dirt belongs on ground!" Rico said angrily.

"NOBODY TALKES TO ME LIKE THAT!" Kowalski raged, pushing Rico off him and standing before him. He swiftly kicked Rico with such force Private instinctively backed up. Rico landed on he ground on his back and Kowalski leapt on top of him, expertly punching him. Private stood still, horrified. _When had Kowalski learned to fight? And fight good? What was going on? Why was Kowalski so violent?_

"Stop it Kowalski!" Private screeched, wanting to intervene but not wanting to deal with the angered scientist's wrath. Kowalski paid no attention Private's request and continued beating Rico. Private turned to go back to HQ, he couldn't stand this, it was horrible! The little penguin turned around when he heard Kowalski shrill voice.

"What? I don't understand you, you talk like a freak!" he sneered, referring to Rico's garbled protests. Private then heard a loud thump and saw Kowalski smash Rico's head off the concrete and his body went limp. Private gasped as he quickly backed up towards HQ.

Kowalski stood victorious over the other penguin and smirked. "Take that, nobody is ever going to mess with me anymore, I will be the most feared penguin ever!" he cackled, laughing evilly.

Private fell into HQ, his little body shaking in fear. He ran to his bunk for his Lunacorn but found it was not there. Private panicked until he remembered; he must have left it in the park. Private slowly waddled over to the hatch, peering out nervously, trying to steady his breathing and forget what he had witnessed. He saw Rico laying a few feet away, but no sign of Kowalski. _Good._ He quickly waddled over to Rico and knelt down next to his friend. He put his ear hole over Rico's chest. _At least he's still breathing, thank god he's not dead. _Private gave him a quick hug and started towards the park. He began crying as soon as he left the penguin habitat. He rushed to the park blinded by his tears, hoping to find Skipper.

Skipper paced back and forth, wondering if Private would come back. _This stupid barrier. If only I could break it somehow. _Suddenly his thoughts turned once again to Private. _I hope Private comes back. Then again, I don't want him to come running to me all the time, do I? _He mulled over this but pushed it out of his thoughts. _No, the team needs to move on, what if I'm stuck here forever? Private should learn to deal with his own problems, ask Kowalski or Rico, they're Privates team now._ Skipper looked down at the stuffed Lunacorn he held and couldn't help but smile when he thought of the little penguin.

His smile disappeared when he noticed a crying Private rushing towards him. He instinctively went towards Private, but was stopped. He sighed and glared at the invisible barrier with hate.

"Skippah!" Private cried, hugging his leader tightly.

"What's wrong Private?"

"Um" Private spotted the toy Skipper was holding. " I left my Lunacron here" Private said lamely, averting his gaze.

Skipper knew instantly Private was lying. Skipper couldn't help but let out a chuckle but then felt horrible.

Private looked up tearful.

"I'm sorry Private, but if your going to lie, at least to a half decent job at it." Private opened his beak to protest but Skipper shook his head and continued. "I'm fine if you don't want to talk about it, but if you do want to, I'm here for you, but just don't make up a silly excuse. I don't appreciate liars."

"I'm sorry Skippah, I... don't think I can talk about it." Private said, remembering Kowalski's sneering face and shivered. Skipper felt the younger's shiver and tightened his embrace.

"You sure your okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine now, thanks Skippah" Private said. Skipper looked at him worriedly but decided to drop the subject.

"Does Kowalski know your here? You just cant go running off anytime you want." Skipper scolded.

"Sorry Skippah"

"Don't apologize to me, its the team your hurting-" Skipper said but stopped when he heard a small whisper from the smaller.

"I...just missed you"

Skipper felt himself smile and wrapped a flipper around the younger again. "I miss you guys too." he admitted and awkwardly set Private down at the base of a tree. "You must be tired" he said abruptly and as if on cue Private yawned. "You sleep and I'll go get some food" Skipper said, walking away. Poor, tired Private drifted off to sleep immediately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~dream~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Please don't hurt me Kowalski" Private whimpered, but the older kept walking towards him, saying those hateful words.

"You screwed up again Private, then again, when don't you mess up? Can you do anything right? Anything at all? We don't need you on the team, what do you do? You don't do anything at all, your not important! You could be replaced in an instant!" Kowalski kicked him then, making Private drop to the ground and cover his head from the blows. "You live in your own little world, not everything is unicorns and rainbows Private, not all fairytales have a happy ending, especially not this one!" Kowalski smirked and-

~~~~~~~~~~~~real time~~~~~~~~~~

"Private!" Private bolted up, startled from his nightmare. "Private" Skipper said again, this time calmer, putting a flipper on the younger's shoulder and looked down at him with concern. Private looked up at him with fear in his eyes. "It's okay Private, it was just a nightmare, everything's okay" Skipper said softly. Private buried his head in Skippers feathers and tried to slow his rapid heartbeat. Private felt himself relax as he was comforted by Skipper and smiled. Skipper stood up and handed Private two fish.

"Yum, thank you Skippah" Private said happily after swallowing them and rubbed his tummy. He stood up and said "Come on Skippah, I promised to help you, remember? _And if you come back maybe everything, and Kowalski, will go back to normal. _

Skipper stood up and walked side by side the smaller to the edge of the zoo.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

" I just don't get it Skippah" Private said after trying to get Skipper into the zoo and failing once again.

" I only wish I had answers" Skipper said, putting his head in his flippers.

"Are you sure it covers the whole zoo? Can you go into the city and turn back? How high is it? Can we dig underneath?"

Skipper sighed and looked at Private. "How about one at a time?"

Private smirked. "Well if you insist."

Skipper rolled his eyes and stood up. He began walking to the opposite end of the zoo. " I doubt it'll work" he muttered.

"What's that Skippah?" Private asked cheerily.

"It wont work what's the point in trying"

"That's no way to be Skippah, think positive."

"Yeah, well your not the one stuck here" Skipper snapped and Private quickly became quiet.

Skipper began walking the length of the zoo border and Private followed quietly. Private wanted to say something to cheer up his friend but he knew it was better to say nothing. He watched Skipper kick the barrier every few feet, becoming more and more frustrated.

Finally, they came to the other side of the zoo. Skipper stopped and looked out at the city. How he longed to be out there, anywhere other than stuck in the park. Skipper turned and remembered Private was with him. "I'm sorry Private, I shouldn't have snapped at you-its just so frustrating!"

"Its okay Skippah, It must be horrible to be stuck here, it sure would be awfully boring." Private chuckled.

Skippers heart went out tot he little penguin. _He's always so forgiving, no matter what I do or say, no matter how much I hurt him._

Private gently nudged his ex-leader forward. "You got to at least try, The Lunacorns say you should never give up."

Skipper smirked. _Private and his Lunacorn garbage._ He hesitantly walked towards the edge and paused. He put his foot out and felt it hit something. "Gah! Curse you stupid invisible barrier!" he shouted and pounded his flipper against it.

"Skippah! Stop it!" Private pleaded, pulling Skipper's flippers away from the wall. "Violence is never necessary." he added, quoting his favourite show.

Skipper couldn't help but roll his eyes again. _More Lunacorn garbage. _He noticed the sun starting to set and realized the day had gone by pretty quickly. "You should go back now Private, you spent practically the whole day here, it isn't right, you need to be with the team."

"But I want to help you get out of here, then we can be a team again." Private pleaded.

Skipper sighed. "I appreciate your help, but I'm taking you away from the team and that's not right."

"The team doesn't need me, or want me" Private mumbled, low enough that Skipper didn't hear.

Skipper began walking towards the zoo and waited for Private to follow. Private trudged along after his leader, dragging his feet, doing anything to buy a little more time. _I wish I could just stay here, its safe with Skippah. I hate Kowalski! I don't want him to hurt me. _

They came to the edge of the zoo and Private threw his flippers around Skipper. _Please don't make me go, let me stay here with you. _He felt tears in his eyes but quickly blinked them away.

"By Private" Skipper whispered, prying the younger's flippers away from himself.

Private whimpered but obeyed, slowly walking away dejectedly.

Skipper watched him go and immediately felt sad. _Sad? Why the heck am I sad? Damn it! Go away! Stupid emotions, I don't need them, but I do feel alone...I kind of miss Private even though he just left. I wish he was here, I wish..._

"Fish and Chips man!" he shouted, coming to a startling realization.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**A/N ** this chapter seems kind of akward too me,it just seems off...i dunno,sorry bout that :/ its probably because i suck at writing the feelings part

_ No, this isn't right! Curse you brain and...feelings! I can't, I mean, it just isn't right! I'll just get hurt again, its stupid! I don't need anyone else, I've trained to rely on myself alone and no one else! This can't happen. I mean, why Private? He's so adorable and cute and...perfect Gah! Snap out of it you idiot! _With this he slapped his head, and put his head in his flippers.

Private took the longest route possible to the penguin habitat. _If only the ground would swallow me and I wouldn't have to face Kowalski. _The zoo looked normal, safe, but it didn't feel safe anymore, not to Private, not with Kowalski near. _It doesn't even feel like home anymore._ Private took a deep breath as he slid back the fishbowl and fell down into HQ. He looked around, scared that he had alerted Kowalski. He heard nothing and stood up, spotting Rico laying on his side in his bunk, facing the wall and crept over.

"Rico, are you okay?" Private asked worriedly. When he received no response, he put a flipper on Rico's side and asked again. This time Rico rolled over to face him and faintly nodded his head. But Private knew he was not okay, Private looked in his eyes and saw no sign of the crazed penguin he knew, he looked empty and defeated. Rico rolled back over to stare blankly at the wall of his bunk. Private sighed sadly, hurt at what Kowalski had done to the other penguin. "Good night Rico" He whispered softly, giving him a hug and crawling into his own bunk, but sleep never came.

He lay in the dark, fearful of any noise, afraid if he slept Kowalski would hurt him. _I wish Skipper were here, he'd wouldn't let Kowalski hurt me, nothing would scare me if Skipper were here, he's so brave, he wouldn't be scared of Kowalski._ He pictured his ex-leaders trademark smirk and smiled. He remembered the rare times Skipper had laughed and recalled the warmth and happiness he felt when he had hugged Skipper goodbye.

He sat up and tried to erase Skipper form his mind _Why am I thinking about him all the time? I never did before. This is weird, and kind of confusing. I just want Skipper to be here. Gah! Here we go again. Whatever I think Skipper ends up in it. I actually kind of miss Skipper...Is this normal? _Private peered out the hatch and saw the sun rising. _I think I need to talk about this, what if there's something wrong with me?_ _I'll ask Marlene, she should know. _

"Marlene?" Private asked hesitantly, walking into the otters habitat.

Marlene appeared out of her cave. "Oh, hey Private" she greeted her friend cheerfully. "What's up?"

"Well, actually I kind of wanted to talk to you." Private said nervously, twisting his flippers.

"Sure, come on in."

They both settled into comfy chairs and Marlene leaned forward.

"So, what's up?" She asked again.

"Um, well I figured since your a girl you would know about this stuff, ah, you see, I've been having these really weird feelings and thoughts..."

"Like what? Come on Private, I need more than that."

"Um, well" Private looked embarrassed. "They are about a certain somebody, and I'm so happy when I'm with them, its like everything in the world is right and I always miss the person and I'm always thinking abut them...and when I hug the person I feel all warm and fuzzy and good." Private blushed as he finished and hung his head embarrassed. "I cant explain it very good."

Marlene laughed. "That's so cute! Private has his first crush."

"So, its normal? I'm not sick or anything?" he asked

Marlene laughed again. "You are naive, aren't you? You sir, have been bitten by the love bug" Marlene smiled and jokingly made kissing sounds.

Private realized what Marlene was implying and felt his beak drop, _I want to kiss Skipper? I like, like him? _His mind was full of questions but Marlene didn't notice how preoccupied the little penguin was. "So" she asked, "Who's the lucky girl?"

At the same time Private blurted "Are you sure?"

Marlene looked taken aback, "Sure of what?"

"That.. I like this person."

Marlene put a paw around the penguin. "Aw, your confused, poor little guy, maybe I shouldn't have told you, but really your the only one who knows deep down inside."

"But what to I do?" the penguin whimpered.

The otter sighed. "Well, some people would try to ignore it, and hope it goes away, but if its true love, its not going to just go away. Besides, if you tried to ignore it, you'd be miserable. I think you should go get 'em. Spend some time with her, really get to know her, and when you get the courage you tell her how you feel and hopefully happily ever after.

Private tried to comprehend what Marlene had said. _But its Skipper!_ He could picture the elder's trademark smirk._ He'd probably say something about insubordination, if I told him, he'd hate me and I'd get kicked off the team, Skipper, Skipper, Skipper._ The younger unconsciously smiled as his ex-leaders name repeated itself in his mind.

"D'awww, your thinking of her" Marlene said, grinning and nudged the little penguin with her elbow. "Yeah, I saw that little smile, the way your face lit up."

Private blushed and turned away. _I like Skipper? But I cant! It's just wrong! Skippers the leader, its just wrong, and he's a guy. _Private hung his head. _How I could I just ignore that part? I'm a freak..._

Marlene noticed the little penguin looking down and hugged him. "I'm sorry Private, I didn't mean to make you said, its just, well- you did ask."

"It's okay Marlene, I'm just, I don't know, confused, scared, a freak."

"What? No your not Private, I told you, its normal, everybody has crushes."

"Yes I am, Its not a girl I like" Private whispered.

Marlene's eyes widened as she comprehended what Private had said and but quickly regained her composure, she knew she had to comfort him. "Private, its okay, you shouldn't be ashamed " She said softly, hugging him tighter. "And liking a guy doesn't make you a freak, okay Private? If anybody says any different then you tell me and I'll help beat them up." She smirked, wiping the penguins tears away.

Private hiccupped "Thanks Marlene" he said, struggling to stand up.

"Are you sure your okay? You had a big shock, maybe you should rest for a bit."

"I'm okay, I just want to be alone for a bit, I should probably get back to HQ anyway."

"Okay, well, I'm here for you, I'm sure it'll work out, but if you need anything at all, and you ever need to talk again, I'm here."

"Thanks Marlene." Private said gratefully

He stumbled out of the cave, shielding his eyes from the suddenly bright sun. _Skipper, Skipper, Skipper_ his brain repeated. If only he could turn off his brain. He slowly scooted by the penguin habitat, making sure Kowalski was nowhere to be seen. He continued on his way, picking up two spoons the humans had meant to throw into the garbage and missed. Private laughed at their horrible aim and waddled towards the park, dragging the 'shovels' along with him.


	9. Chapter 9

chapter 9

**A/N **sorry for it being a bit short, i've been swamped with school stuff

"Skippah" Private called, entering the park, exhausted from carrying the shovels. "Skippah" He called again, noticing he wasn't at the tree he normally was. Private kept walking and eventually found him pacing in the middle of the park, lost in thought. "Skippah" Private said again, startling the older. Skipper turned around quickly and walked over to the younger

"Hi Private" he said, awkwardly.

"Hi Skippah, boy it sure took me awhile to find you"

"Sorry, I decided to go for a walk and clear my head." _And think about you. God, I feel like a pervert! Your just a kid, this is so wrong. _

"Hope it helped" Private said, setting the shovels on the ground.

Skipper snuck a look at the younger, still feeling horrible. _Oh god, if Private knew what I was thinking...He's too young for any of this stuff, heck, he probably doesn't even know what love is. _

"Skippah?" Private asked, noticing the elder looking at him funny.

"What? Sorry Private" he said, wishing he could just shut off his stupid brain. "What are the shovels for?"

"Well, I thought maybe we could dig under it, it might work, its worth a try." Private said shyly.

Skipper smiled. _He sure is determined to get me out of here. _He picked up a shovel and absentmindedly started digging.

"Um Skippah?" Private giggled.

Skipper looked up and realized he had been so busy trying to get his mind off Private he had begun digging at a tree. Skipper let out a nervous laugh and began walking towards the zoo, the only sound the pitter patter of Private following him.

_Skipper doesn't seem like himself, he seems distant, is he not happy to see me? Oh dear, if Skipper knew what I was thinking about him, that I liked him, I'd be kicked off the team! Well, once he gets back to the zoo. Gosh, I sure hope he can't read my mind, If I got kicked off the team I'd never see Skipper again..._

Private was startled as he walked into the older, who had stopped because they had reached the edge of the park.

"Skipper turned around. "A little up in the clouds Private?" he smirked.

"Sorry Skippah" the penguin said, looking at the ground, knowing if he looked at the older he wouldn't be able to contain his smile.

"Come on" The elder encouraged, motioning to the ground." We might as well get started."

They worked side by side for what seemed like hours. Private worked nervously, aware that Skipper was a mere few feet away. He felt almost dizzy, as if a soft hum was radiating from his body, he was happy. Happy to be to be standing a few feet away from Skipper, happy to work side by side his ex-leader, happy he was with him. When he felt himself tire, he just looked over at the other penguin and was filled with energy again. _It'll all be worth it when Skipper comes back to the team._

_Private's a distraction, I cant work like this! _Skipper was blissfully aware that Private was next to him, that if he leaned over he could hug him, stroke his silky soft feathers, it took all his willpower not to. He was afraid it might scare the younger, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt the little penguin. Skipper noticed how the younger looked over at him every once in awhile and felt worried. _Oh god, does he know? Am I staring at him? Am I leaning to close? _He let his shovel clatter to the ground, trying to distract himself from Private. "Lunchtime" he said happily, watching the younger perk up at the mention of food.

"But where are we going to find food? You cant leave the park." Private said, confused.

Skipper grinned and tapped the younger's head. "Hello? You awake today? What about the pond."

"Oh" Private laughed, embarrassed, "I forgot about that."

"Apparently" Skipper smirked and Private felt his tummy flip flop with happiness. He followed absentmindedly to the pond, where he watched Skipper pull out two fishing polls from behind a bush. He handed one to Private and sat at the edge of the water.

"Really Skippah?" Private asked, amused.

"What? Don't look at me like that, the humans wont miss them."

Private went over to the water and sat at the edge, a few feet away from Skipper, thrusting his feet into the water. He kicked his feet, staring into the water.

"Private, stop kicking, you'll scare all the fish." Skipper hissed.

"Sorry Skippah" Private whispered, staring back into the now still water. He saw the other penguin's reflection in the water a few feet away. _He looks so calm and concentrated. .and..._ Private felt something nibbling at his feet and looked down. _Fish! _He was about to reach down and grab one but he felt the nibbling turn into a tickle. He giggled quietly, but his giggles grew louder and louder. Skipper noticed and walked over.

"What's so funny Private, I told you if you aren't quiet you'll scare the fish."

Private pointed to his feet in the water and said in between giggles. "The fish are nibbling my feet, it tickles"

Skipper frowned disapprovingly. But that frown turned into a smirk as he got an idea. He leaned down towards the younger and tickled him. Privates giggles turned into full blown laughter as he rolled around on the ground, his sides aching from laughter. "Skippah stop" he pleaded, but the older paid no attention, the younger's laughter was music to his ears. Private rolled away once again...right into the pond. Skipper couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh. He watched the younger swim towards the surface. _He's kind of...beautiful...AH! I'm getting all soft and mushy!_

Private broke the surface of the water sputtering and coughing. "Skippah" he shouted accusingly. _Although I didn't really mind...his flippers feel perfect._ The younger immediately blushed at his thoughts.

Skipper helped the younger out of the water, trying desperately to hide the blush he felt as his flippers connected with the younger's.

Private lay on the grass beside the older. "I think we scared the fish away Skippah" he giggled. Skipper couldn't help but laugh along with him.


	10. Chapter 10

chapter 10

After lying in the sun for a few minutes so Private could dry off, and finally catching some fish for a much delayed lunch, Skipper decided they should go back to work, as much as he didn't want to. _Who knows? Maybe if I go back to HQ, this feeling for Private might just disappear. _

Skipper sighed as he noticed how little progress they had made. _This is going to take days!_ He picked up a shovel, motivated by sheer determination.

Private knew it was his fault that they had made little progress that day, he wasn't as strong as Skipper and just slowed the other down. He sighed as he sat down to eat like Skipper had suggested. He ate slowly, knowing that after he had finished eating he would have to leave. He finished his food and sighed inwardly again.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow" Skipper said, lifting his flipper in a half wave before dropping it awkwardly.

_Hug him. Hug him. Hug him. No!_ Private turned away before he changed his mind, already looking forward to he would see Skipper again tomorrow.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he walked around the zoo three times before noticing and stopping.

Marlene stepped out of her cave. "Oh hey Private, how's it going?"

Private stood there with a lovesick smile on his face. Marlene noticed and steered the little penguin into her habitat.

"So, did you tell him?"

"No" Private said, ashamed. "I'm scared, I mean it'll ruin everything! He'll never think of me the same! I'm scared I'll lose his friendship..."

Marlene sighed. "I'm not gong to tell you what to do, it's up to you." But was interrupted by loud music. "Those lemurs" she muttered. "I'm surprised I haven't heard Skipper complaining, in fact, I haven't seen him in awhile, what's he up to? Or is he on one of those top secret missions you cant tell me about" She laughed.

"He's stuck in the park" Private whispered finally, needing to get it off his chest, needing to know he wasn't crazy.

"What?" Marlene was shocked he had actually answered, it was a far cry from the usual 'classified'. "What do you mean?"

"He's stuck in the park, he cant leave! He says its like an invisible barrier all around the park, I can leave and enter, but he can't leave!" The younger cried, tears leaking from his eyes.

"Oh Private, it'll be okay, I'm sure he'll be back soon. He's smart, you guys will figure it out, and then he'll be back and everything will go back to normal again and be okay."

Private remained silent, wondering if Skipper came back everything would ever be okay again. He lay there and eventually drifted off to sleep.

He woke up a few hours later, it was dark. Private bolted up, worried that Kowalski had noticed he was missing. He sat up and cringed when heard the floor squeak. He tiptoed out of the cave and into the night, not wanting to wake his friend. She wouldn't be too cheerful to be woken in the middle of the night. The first thing he noticed were the stars, they were so bright, the only light in the dark sky. He walked cautiously in the direction of the penguin habitat. He reached his 'home' and dropped down into HQ, coming face to face with a very angered Kowalski.

Private gulped, he knew he didn't have a chance. 'Smack' he felt a lump form on his head. _I wish I had never left Skipper. I should have stayed in the park, went anywhere but here._ 'Smack' this time, a kick that sent Private sprawling into a corner. He saw Rico cowering in his own bunk before the taller penguin blocked his view. Private whimpered in fear, causing the older to smirk evilly.

"Maybe next time you wont go running off whenever you want, from now on you listen to me, YOU WILL OBEY ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!"

Private sat, shaking, not just from the physical blows but the words Kowalski had said. He wouldn't put it past the older to actually kill him.

"You will train everyday until you become perfect, and if that's not possible, then we can easily find someone to replace you!"

Private cowered, dodging the punch coming from the taller. That just angered the scientist more. "Try and struggle now" he said wickedly, pinning the younger against the wall. "I could beat the crap out of you, in fact, its quite tempting, but I'll be the nice guy, and I hope to hell that you learned your lesson." He let the penguin go and watched him drop to the floor.

"Yes Kowalski" the younger stammered, feeling his heart beat rapidly against his ribcage.

Kowalski stood glaring for a few seconds before storming into his lab and slamming the door.

Private lay there, laying his head back down on the cold, hard concrete, not daring to move to his bunk. He heard a sob escape him and promptly clamped his beak shut, willing sleep to overtake him and the horrible night.

"Wake up" Kowalski ordered, kicking the other penguin in the stomach. Private bolted up, afraid of the older penguin. Kowalski didn't even offer them breakfast this time, just ordered them outside, this time Rico obeyed quietly. They stood outside in the sunshine but Private was anything but cheery.

"Give me 100!" Kowalski shouted, pushing both penguins to the ground. When they lay there stupidly he added "Push ups you morons!" Private felt his stomach drop, he wasn't exactly in good shape. Yet he still tried, fuelled by fear. He got to 5 and felt his flippers begin to burn, he got to 15 and felt his flippers begin to shake. By 35, he felt his whole body begin to shake from physical exhaustion. _100? He must be crazy! _He felt himself collapse and looked up to a snarling Kowalski. _Oh god, please no._

"Piece of crap" he muttered, turning to check on Rico, who wasn't doing much better than Private. Kowalski shoved them both up. "100 laps, I sure hope you weaklings can do that" he said pointing to the water.

Private was glad for this, he was actually a half decent swimmer, it was a lot better than push ups. He quickly hopped in the water and couldn't help but think of the last time he was in the water. _Skipper._ He has to admit, he had never seen Skipper so happy and un-concerned of his tough guy image before. It had been nice, he had seen the side of Skipper he rarely saw, the side he loved._ Well actually I love all of Skipper._ He blushed immediately and finished his laps in no time and was met with more training tasks.

It was sunset before Kowalski finally let them quit. Private was exhausted, he wanted to plop down and sleep forever. It took what little energy he had left to drag himself into HQ and into his bunk.

Kowalski locked himself in his lab, as per usual and Private promptly drifted off to sleep.

_He didn't come._ Skipper had sat waiting all day for the little penguin, looking forward to seeing him, but Private hadn't shown, it broke Skippers heart, not that he would admit it. He knew deep down that Private couldn't come visit him everyday, that he shouldn't, that the team would him, but that didn't make the hurt any easier. At first he was worried, afraid the younger had been kidnapped or was left for dead somewhere, then the rational part of his brain kicked in and he felt stupid for thinking Private had nothing better to do with his time than visit poor old Skipper trapped in the park.

He looked at the shovels on the ground and knew he should work on the hole, but he didn't have the heart, not without Private. He sighed and locked away his worried for another night as he went to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Skipper woke up suddenly, startled from his nightmare. _Well, that is a first; I've never been scared of anything enough before to have a nightmare._ He couldn't help but shiver at the thought of Private laying dead in a gutter somewhere. "Stop it" he chided himself, "I'm just being paranoid again, he's probably fine", but Skipper couldn't wipe the horrible thoughts from his mind.

Private woke up late; surprised he hadn't been woken by Kowalski. He sat up, at first confused as to why he had slept on the floor, but then it all started coming back. He sat up, peering around for Kowalski. He saw no sign of the older and hesitantly stood up, noticing the HQ was eerily empty and quiet. He turned on the TV to distract himself, but he just couldn't concentrate. _I kind of want to see Skipper._ He shut the TV off, happy with his idea. He bounded out of HQ, once again happy to see Skipper. He slowed to a walk when he reached outside the penguin habitat. _Something doesn't feel right; it feels creepy... as if someone is watching me..._ Private looked up at the sunny sky, it was a beautiful cheery day, what could happen? He whipped around as he heard movement from a garbage can and laughed at himself. "Look at me; I'm becoming as paranoid as Skippah." He saw the park in the distance and picked up his pace. Out of nowhere, Private was tackled to the ground. He let out a screech as he saw Kowalski's face flash before him and the elder's flipper covered his beak, causing the younger to pass out from lack of oxygen.

Private awoke around dusk, sprawled on the floor of the HQ. He coughed and breathed air into his lungs. _Air, beautiful, wonderful air._

Kowalski heard the younger cough and turned around wickedly. "Good, your awake, now I wont feel bad about beating the crap out of you, apparently you didn't learn your lesson you little piece of scum!" he punched Private, smashing him against the wall. Private felt his left flipper bend behind him and smash against the wall. He cried out in pain as his flipper bent in an awkward way. It hung useless by his side, a burning searing to match the pain in his heart.

Kowalski reached a flipper up, inching towards the younger's neck and Private struggled for air. "You piece of shit! I said you will listen to me or die!" This was the last Private heard as everything went black.

"Goddamnit" Skipper muttered, cursing himself for caring so much. However, he couldn't stop worrying, it wasn't like Private, _he would have come to see me, wouldn't he? _He tried to erase pictures of a dead Private from his mind, but it didn't work. "Ah! Curse you stupid invisible barrier! What if Private needs my help? I hate you!" he shouted, pounding his fists against the barrier, but felt nothing there. _What?_ His beak opened in shock as he fell into the zoo. "What the deuce?" he shouted, shocked to say the least. He walked back and forth over the barrier multiple times, feeling freer each time he walked back into the zoo. He looked around warily. _But who? How? It's just gone! _He took a deep breath; happy he was free but knowing he should be on his guard. _That can't happen, a wall just doesn't disappear, somebody or something removed it, and it sure had heck wasn't me..._ He quickly began walking his natural path, back to HQ, hoping that Private was all right and he was stupid for being so paranoid.

He didn't just open the hatch and fling himself in, even in his state he knew that would be stupid. Instead, he swam down into the water and peered in. The sight he saw made him numb. He couldn't believe it, Private lay in a corner battered and beaten, while Kowalski continued to beat the younger mercilessly. _Private!_ He felt anger he never felt before and ripped open the hatch to HQ. "YOU MONSTER! NOBODY HURTS MY PRIVATE!" he raged, filled with hate and anger he never knew existed. He flew onto Kowalski, knocking him against the wall and wanting to murder him for hurting sweet innocent Private. Kowalski may have been a good fighter, but he was no match for Skippers feelings bubbling up into pure rage. He wanted to wrap his flipper around the scientist's neck and watch his face drain of all life. He resisted the killing urge and instead knocked him out cold, kicking him like the piece of dirt he was. He quickly gathered Private, who was drifting in and out of conscience, in his flippers, scrambling out of HQ. He noticed Rico in a corner and motioned for him to follow.

He ran to the park, wanting to get Private as far away as he could from Kowalski. His eyes filled with tears at the thought that anybody would hurt the sweet penguin. He felt Privates heart beat faintly against his own and felt the tears he was holding back escape. He sat down gently at the base of a tree, still cradling the injured Private in his arms. _If there's anybody up there, God or whatever, anybody, please let him live, please! I'll give anything! I just want him to live...you can even take me, just please, not Private..._ he pulled the little penguin closer, inspecting his injuries. "God Private" he muttered aloud, looking at what Kowalski had done. He gently stood up and placed the younger back against the grass. He noticed Rico laying a few feet away, "Rico? Are you okay?" he asked, feeling bad for forgetting about him, but he realized it was a stupid question when he looked at him. Private wasn't the only one who needed medical attention. "Can you stay with Private, please. I really don't want to leave you guys alone but you need medical supplies."

Rico nodded solemnly and Skipper helped him limp over to the younger. "I'll be back," he promised, looking at the younger once again and feeling emptiness in his heart. He turned away and ran to HQ, seeking anything that would help.

Luckily, Kowalski was still out cold when Skipper entered. He felt a bit guilty at first, but he remembered what the scientist had done to Private and erased any guilt in his mind. He frantically walked around the lab, picking up anything that looked the least bit helpful. He gathered what he could find in his arms and hurried out, resisting the urge to cause Kowalski more pain. _Private's more important, I can deal with Kowalski later. _

He rushed back to the park as fast as he could, dropping the medical supplies at Private's feet. He gingerly knelt down, not entirely confident of himself. The leader had very little medical knowledge, that was more of Kowalski thing. He handed some supplies to Rico, knowing that he would be embarrassed if he were offered help.

Skipper fixed up the younger as best as he could, even making a splint for the broken flipper. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than nothing.

He hugged the younger again, wanting to hold him, feeling like he needed to protect him. He impulsively kissed Private on the cheek, and blushed furiously. _How the hell is that going to help stupid?_

He sighed as he lay down, knowing being sleep deprived wouldn't help any. He laid the younger down on a bed of leaves and wrapped a flipper around him protectively. Private's head lay on the leader's chest; the younger's breath tickling the older. Skipper smiled faintly, he might even have laughed if the situation wasn't so dire. He pulled him closer, hoping to be a source of heat for the younger. _He can't die!_

"You cant die!" He said determinedly. "I mean, your a fighter right? You can't just give up..." _Life without Private..._ He couldn't imagine it, never hearing his adorable accent, never seeing him smile again. _Heck! I'd even love to hear some of his Lunacorn garbage right now. _Life without Private, well, it wouldn't be much of a life, bleak, miserable, nothing... "You can't give up, I need you. There, I said it, I need you okay? Yes, I will admit it, I am relying on someone again, caring more than I should, is that what you wanted to hear? I need you Private!" he shouted to the sky, burying his face in the younger's feathers, feeling the tears come again. "I need you Private, you can't leave me, you got to make it, I love you Private, you can't leave me," he whispered into the younger's feathers, only wishing Private could hear him.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Private woke up slowly, hearing birds chirp happily, and eventually opened his eyes, confused. _I'm not dead? I should be, it would be better than having to deal with Kowalski. _He felt tears glide down his face and swiped at them angrily. "Ouch!" he shouted, realizing he couldn't move his left flipper. His beak opened in shock when he saw Skipper next to him, a flipper around Private protectively. He coughed as he began to breath again, trying to recover from the shock, aware of his body next to the Skipper's. _This is perfect._ He didn't want to think about why Skipper was next to him and he really didn't care. He smiled widely as he laid his head back down on the leaders chest, lying there and watching the older, savouring he moment.

Skipper woke up and turned to the younger, hoping he would be okay. He felt amazingly happy to see a pair of sky blue eyes watching him intently. "Private?" Skipper asked, astonished, his voice caked with emotion.

"Hi Skippah" Private blushed.

Skipper quickly crushed the little penguin in a hug, being careful not to hurt him, tears falling down his face freely.

"Skippah? Why are you crying? Please don't cry" the younger said softly, trying to wipe Skipper's tears away. This caused Skipper to cry even harder and pull Private closer.

"God Private, I was so scared I was going to lose you" He cried, stroking the younger's feathers tenderly.

Private was astonished. _Skipper's crying? Over me? But why would Skipper miss me? I'm not important, I'm easily replaced..._ Despite his thoughts, he said nothing, blissful that Skipper was holding him, he just let the older cry, knowing it was best if he got it out of his system.

Finally, he couldn't contain his thoughts any longer. "But why would you miss me Skipper, I mean..." he trailed off, thinking he sounded like stupid kid.

The older lifted a flipper to stroke Private's cheek lovingly. Private felt as if he would melt. _I must be dreaming, this is too perfect. _

Skipper looked into the younger's sky blue eyes. _I'm scared, God, he'll probably think I'm a pervert. What if I scare him? _He took a deep breath. _Just do it you wimp, don't you think he deserves to know? I cant lie to him any longer. Oh I hope I don't screw this up, please let him not hate me. _He pulled himself out of his thoughts, back to reality, back to Private.

"Because.. I love you" He whispered, gently touching his beak to the younger's. He pulled away almost automatically, angry at himself. _Jesus, what did I do that for? I'm so stupid, I just ruined everything. _

Private was hurt when the older pulled away. That brief moment when Skippers beak met his was amazingly perfect. _Skipper kissed me! And it was amazing, the best thing that ever happened to me, now I'm sure I must be dreaming, Skipper likes me?! _He felt as if his heart would explode from happiness, no words could describe how he was feeling.

"Skippah" Private said breathlessly, lost in the leaders usually icy dark blue eyes. But this time they were filled with love...and fear.

Skipper felt horrible. _What did I just do? I just ruined my friendship with Private, just because I'm selfish. Why the hell did I do that? I'm so freaking stupid, God! I wish I could just take it back. _He wanted to say something, anything to say how much he regretted it, how guilty he felt, he wanted to hold the little penguin, but all that came out was a pathetic "Sorry"

Private touched his flipper to his beak, still buzzing from the kiss. "Don't be sorry " he said shyly. "I love you too" he whispered, nestled in the elder's flippers once again. "I was so afraid to tell you, I thought you would hate me and kick me off the team, then I would never see you again."

Skipper heard the younger's words and felt his usual icy heart begin to thaw, feeling overjoyed, all his doubts washed away. " I wouldn't ever kick you off the team" he said truthfully, wrapping a flipper around Private's good one, wanting to remember the feeling of somebody caring about him. _Somebody cares about me. _He couldn't help but admit that it was the best feeling of all.

Private fell asleep once again and Skipper let him, knowing he would need his rest. He was ready to close his eyes too when he saw a dark figure running towards them.

"Kowalski" Skipper muttered darkly, as the figure drew nearer. He quickly jumped up into a defensive position, forgetting Private was there.

"Skippah?" They younger asked confused. "What's going on?" He looked to where Skipper was focused and shivered. _Please not again. _He huddled closer to Skipper instinctively. _Protect me, don't let him hurt me. _

"Shh, it'll be okay, he won't hurt you. Not on my watch." he said, leaning the younger back against the tree. "Kowalski!" he shouted, raising his flippers again. "Get the hell out of here before I finish you off, which I should have done earlier!"

Kowalski appeared confused. "What?"

"Don't come any closer" Skipper warned, Kowalski mere feet away now.

"Skipper? Have you gone crazy? What are you talking about?

"Don't play stupid Kowalski"

"Honestly, Skipper, I have no idea what your talking about. In case you didn't notice, I haven't been here for the past 3 months."

Private appeared behind Skipper, fearfully peering his head around. "Please don't hurt me Kowalski, whatever I did, I'm sorry" he whispered.

Kowalski moved closer but Skipper made him back up again. "What?" The scientist questioned. " I wouldn't hurt Private, what in Newton's Knickers is going on?"

Private looked behind him as he heard Rico's cries of help.

Kowalski stood over Rico, punching him. _Wait, Kowalski? _The little penguins head swivelled from one Kowalski to the next and back.

"Umm, Skippah?" Private said worriedly, alerting the older.

"Private! I told you not to move, you might get hurt more, what..." He trialed off, seeing the other Kowalski. He too looked between the Kowalski's, utterly confused.

"Oh good golly!" Kowalski exclaimed as he saw...himself? It suddenly made sense, he felt so stupid. He slapped himself for his stupidity, moving to the other penguins to explain.

Skipper backed away protectively with Private behind him.

"For Pete's sake!" Kowalski shouted, throwing his flippers in the air. "I'm not going to hurt either of you. But I do think I know what's going on."

Skipper looked at him. _Can I trust him? But Kowalski hurt Private...but it wasn't really Kowalski... I don't think...Gah! I don't know. _

"Fine" Skipper said tersely. "Explain away."

"Well, you remember awhile ago when I made clones of myself"

Skipper butted in. "Another Kowalski invention gone wrong, of course."  
"Well, it seems as if someone got a hold of one of my clones and programmed it..."

"Kowalski! Why is it that your inventions always screw up!" Skipper shouted.

Kowalski hung his head. "I'm sorry Skipper and I take full blame."

Skippers face turned grim, assessing the situation. "We have to rescue Rico, Kowalski options?"

"Well, we could...distraction and run?"

Skipper sighed. "Good enough. Move out men!" They began to belly slide towards Rico but Skipper stopped, addressing Private. "Your not coming Private, its too dangerous and your already injured. Go back to HQ, you'll be safe there, we'll be there soon."

Private didn't want to leave Skipper, he was too scared, but he heard the warning tone in Skipper's soft voice and obeyed.

"Forget distraction" Skipper said, clenching his flippers into fists of fury, wanting to cause the other Kowalski bodily harm, great bodily harm. _Sweet, innocent Private._ "Grab Rico and head to HQ" he ordered, sneaking up from behind and attacking the 'evil' Kowalski.

Kowalski nodded in response and scooped up Rico from the ground, pulling him along behind him. Rico struggled horrifically, realizing his captor was Kowalski.

"Don't struggle Rico, I'm not gong to hurt you, that wasn't me, I swear!" Kowalski said.

Rico didn't believe him until he looked back and saw a flurry of fists, Skipper fighting 'evil' Kowalski.

"Long story, short version- clones" Kowalski tried to explain.

Rico remained quiet, his mind reeling. They reached the HQ in record time.

Private heard the hatch open and jumped up eagerly. "Skippah?"

Kowalski and Rico appeared and Private sighed. _I hope he's okay. What if he gets hurt? It would be all my fault, please let him be okay. _

Private sat in a corner, fidgeting. Kowalski approached slowly, not wanting to scare the younger. Private instinctively flinched as Kowalski neared. _Its Kowalski, he wont hurt me, I think, I mean, the other Kowalski was the one who hurt me, I shouldn't be scared._

"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise" Kowalski said.

" I know Kowalski, I'm sorry, its just..." Private trailed off, his eyes wet.

Kowalski hugged him. "Shh, it'll be okay, and stop worrying about Skipper and don't tell me your not, I can tell."

Private wiped his tears away, wanting to believe the scientist's words

Skipper had the element of surprise, a huge bonus against the evil fighting machine. He tackled 'evil' Kowalski from behind, both of them crashing them to the ground. He noticed 'good' Kowalski and Rico escaping out of the corner of his eye and felt relieved. _The team is safe._ After that, the fight blurred into a flurry of fists and anger. It seemed the 'evil' Kowalski would never be beaten. That is, until Skipper landed a hard punch against 'evil' Kowalski's beak. The taller stumbled back, while Skipper smirked, knowing he had found the others weak point. He launched forward again, this time landing a blow to the others stomach, Private's face imprinted in his mind to fuel his rage. This blow caused the 'evil' Kowalski to howl in pain, falling to the ground. Skipper moved forward, with a killing intent. _Screw clear consciences, this asshole deserves it for hurting my Private, nobody will hurt the little guy and get away with it, not while I'm living. _He advanced towards the taller penguin, wrapping his flippers around the other's neck, wanting to see him struggle, watch him become weak and see all life like seep out of him slowly. 'Evil' Kowalski struggled against him, thrashing, but Skipper pinned him against he ground. He watched as the others breathing became slow, his eyes shooting daggers before they closed. He didn't let go until he saw the others chest become still. He stepped back quickly. _I just killed somebody. With my own flippers. _He looked down at his flippers, feeling dirty, but this was nothing soap and water could wash away. He backed away, he needed to get to Private, he had to remind himself why he had killed. _It's for the best, now he can never hurt Private again._ He began sprinting away, wanting to take the younger in his arms and tell him everything was okay, that 'evil' Kowalski wouldn't ever hurt Private again.

As Skipper ran away, 'evil' Kowalski opened an eye, then another and stood up, an evil grin on his face, "Oh Skipper, its not over yet." he cackled.


	13. Chapter 13

chapter 13

"Skippah!" Private cried, leaping up from his seat and throwing himself into his leaders flippers. Skipper smiled, nuzzling the younger's neck happily. No words were spoken, none were needed.

Skipper could have hugged the little penguin all day but he noticed Kowalski and Rico's stares and quickly let go. "I think we all deserve some rest men." Skipper said, stifling a yawn. The others didn't have any complaints, they were exhausted. Skipper climbed into his own bunk, but he found he couldn't sleep. He heard Rico's snoring and smiled. _I sure did miss my team. Its good to be back. _He saw the 'evil' Kowalski's lifeless face flash before his eyes and felt horrible. _I killed somebody. _He hopped down to the floor, wanting to get some fresh air and clear his head. He heard Private humming a happy tune and turned to him. _But its all worth it, now Private's safe, I had to kill him or he might try to hurt Private again._

Private, you should be asleep" he scolded gently.

"I'm sorry Skippah, but I don't want to sleep."

"Private, you need your sleep, its important."

"But I cant, I'll have nightmares" The younger whimpered sadly.

Skipper immediately sat down, wrapping a flipper around the younger. Private sighed happily and snuggled closer.

"He's gone Private. He wont ever hurt you again. You'll always be safe with me, but he's not here, you won't ever see him again. I'm sorry, I feel like its all my fault. I should have known, I should have protected you."

"Its not your fault Skipper, I didn't tell you because I was scared of what Kowalski would do..." Private's voice broke off as he felt tears begin again.

"Shh Private, the important thing is that your safe now" Skipper said gently.

Private wiped his tears away and yawned tiredly. "Okay, maybe I'm a little tired, just afraid..." Private admitted.

Skipper pulled him closer. "Don't worry, I'm here, your safe" He whispered and watched the younger drift off to sleep, eventually drifting off himself.

Skipper woke to the younger Private sobbing quietly. "Oh Private" he said, wanting to comfort him somehow.

"Sorry Skippah, I didn't mean to waken you" Private whispered, angrily swiping at his tears.

"Shhh, it's okay Private" Skipper said, wiping the younger's tears away himself. "I hate to see you cry, your much more beautiful when you smile" Skipper whispered, giving him a hesitant kiss on the cheek.

Private blushed furiously. "It's not so bad now that your here, they seem kind of stupid"

They aren't stupid Private, don't say that."

"Sorry Skipper" Private mumbled, snuggling even closer and wrapping his flippers around the other. Skipper began rocking back and forth gently, trying to lull the younger to sleep.

"Skippah?" Private asked as his flipper found an incision like scar on the back of Skipper's neck.

"Yes?" Skipper replied, almost asleep himself.

"What's this" Private asked, tracing the outline with his flipper. He felt Skipper cringe and pulled back. "Sorry Skippah, but I'm worried, it doesn't look right."

"It sure hurts like hell" Skipper said, not realizing that until now.

"Maybe you should tell Kowalski, he'll know what it is and what to do" Private suggested.

"Private, its the middle of the night." Skipper said tiredly.

"But what if you die? You cant die, I'd be all alone!" Private cried worriedly.

Skipper looked at the others face and sighed. "Fine" He grumbled.

Private ran over to Kowalski, landing on him with a 'thud'. "Wake up!" He shouted.

Kowalski sat up groggily, removing he younger from on top of him. "What is it Private?"

"Its Skippah, he has some stitch incision thing on his neck."

And that cant wait until morning?" The scientist questioned.

"No!" Private replied stubbornly.

Kowalski sighed as he sat up and flicked a switch, flooding the HQ with light. Rico, who was a pretty heavy sleeper, of course didn't wake up.

The taller stood up and walked over to Skipper, running a flipper over his leaders neck until he found what Private was talking about. Skipper took a sharp breath as Kowalski peered closer, looking worried. "You better come into the lab" He whispered to Skipper.

Private tried to follow, but Skipper held him back. "You stay here, I'll be right out."

As soon as the door closed Kowalski turned to his leader with a grim expression. He lifted up a device to Skipper neck, pushing buttons rapidly. He got an even more worried look on his face, but Skipper was even more nervous.

"That one of your inventions? Of course it is, oh god how long until it malfunctions and we all die!"

"Skipper" Kowalski interrupted. "Um, well, I'm just going to come right out and say this, you seem to have a brain chip...in your head..."

Skipper laughed heartily. "Uh huh, good one Kowalski, but even Private wouldn't buy that, talk about science fiction"

"I'm serious Skipper, you have a brain chip and its been in there for about" he consulted the device "a few months"

"What?" Skipper asked horrified. _A brain chip? Someone has been controlling me, this isn't really me? _He saw Private's face and wanted to cry. _My feelings for Private aren't even mine? Oh god, how did I get into this mess? Poor Private, I promised I'd never hurt him and now look what I did. _At this thought he slid to the floor, Kowalski's face wavering in front of his.

"Are you okay?" I should take it out, shouldn't I?"

Skipper nodded numbly, barely comprehending what the scientist was saying. He waited for the darkness to come, welcomed it, wanting to forget...

Skipper woke to a pounding headache. "Ugh" he said groggily, sitting up and trying to steady the spinning world.

"How do you feel" Kowalski asked.

Skipper ignored his question. "The brain chip?"

"Right here" Kowalski said, showing it to his leader.

_Such an innocent looking little piece of technology, and it controlled me, became my mind. _He shivered at the thought. _But who? Who put it there? _"What can you tell me about it?"

Kowalski studied him for a few seconds before answering. "Well Skipper, um, you liked me, not me me but evil me who you thought was me" he said hurriedly.

Skipper frowned _I already know that thank you very much. _"And?"

"You left. You left the team Skipper, how could you?"

"It wasn't actually me" He reminded the taller. "I always wondered why I couldn't remember why I left"

"And then about a day after you left the team it just stopped, I'd say it malfunctioned or something, but I'm not sure, it seems quite odd.

_About a day after I left? That means...I fell for Private all on my own, it wasn't the brain chip, it was me!_ he smiled happily, knowing now he wouldn't have to hurt the little penguins feelings. "But how did it get there, who?"

"I don't know" Kowalski admitted, admiring the tiny chip. "But I am insanely jealous, a brain chip! I'm 50 years way from that kind of technology-"

"Can the nerd jealousy" Skipper ordered, standing up and walking to the door. "I'm fine now, right?"

"I think so, you may be a bit woozy for a couple of hours and some of your memory may be cloudy, but physically your fine"

"Good" Skipper said, walking back into HQ and was ambushed by Private.

"I was so worried, you were in there so long, I stayed up all night" Private said nervously.

_All night? Its morning? _Skipper smiled down at the younger. "Thanks Private, but I'm all right."

Kowalski coughed awkwardly and the two split apart quickly.

"Well men I think we could all use a little more sleep, I'll see you at 1200 hours."

They split off, each heading to their own bunk, grateful for a little extra sleep.

Skipper saw Private's face appear before his bunk after about three seconds they had went to bed. "Skippah?" the younger asked quietly, crawling in beside the older.

Skipper sighed. _He needs his sleep, heck, I need my sleep too. _"Yes Private?"

Private remained quiet, reaching up to trace Skipper's scar. "Are you really okay? What was it?" he questioned.

"Private, it was nothing, I'm fine, go to sleep."

"Skippah, I'm not stupid." Private said angrily, a frown appearing on his face. "It's obviously something, you were in Kowalski's lab for what seemed like forever."

"It doesn't matter, its over and I'm fine."

No" Private argued. "I was worried Skippah, so worried.." He trailed off to nothing. "Don't I at least deserve to know what I was so worried about?"

_Damn it! Isn't he ever going to give up? Talk about stubborn. _"Fine, it was a brain chip"

Private was quiet for a few moments. "Is that why you left?"

"Yes. I wouldn't ever dream of leaving you guys, I wouldn't ever leave my team no matter what happens, I just wouldn't."

"I know Skippah, that's why it hurt so much when you were gone."

Skipper felt a lump form in his throat _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. _"I'm sorry" he whispered, reaching out to the younger.

"Its not your fault Skipper. I just have one question, when you ah...kissed me...was it you or the brain chip...?" He asked shyly.

"That was me" Skipper said awkwardly, afraid of the younger's reaction.

"Good" Private said, snuggling closer. "Because it was amazing." He blushed.

Skipper sat silent this time.

Private poked him in the tummy. "Did you fall asleep? That's when you kiss me again." He said boldly.

Skipper couldn't help but smirk as he leaned his head towards the smaller. Private closed his eyes eagerly as Skipper's beak touched his softly. It was everything good and beautiful in the world wrapped up in a few precious seconds, making his heart hum with happiness and love.

" I think we should do that more often" Private said breathlessly, looking up at the older with adoration.

Skipper laughed, pulling private against him once again. "I think you should go to sleep." Private pouted, making Skipper laugh more.

Eventually he saw Private fall asleep and picked him up gently and placed him on his bunk before falling asleep himself, a faint smile on his face.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Skipper?" Kowalski asked

Skipper sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What is it?"

"Well sir, its 1200 hours-"

"Thanks, I would have slept all day away, I've been tired." Skipper said abruptly, moving to get his cup of coffee, he wasn't awake until he had his cup of coffee. He was met with Private offering him his mug of coffee. "Thanks Private" he said, ruffling the feathers on the top of the younger's head. Private smiled and patted the seat next to him.

"Can't we've already slept in later than we should have" Skipper downed his coffee and lead his team outside.

Maurice walked up to the four calmly. "Um, Mort's gone. He's not in the habitat, and I don't think it would go well if Alice found out."

Skipper rolled his eyes. _Sad eyes missing? Meh, but Maurice has a good point, we cant let Alice find out._ "Fine" he sighed. "Where did you see him last?"

Maurice thought for a moment. "Well, I think King Julian asked for some mangos."

"Kowalski, options?" Skipper asked, turning to his second in command.

"Well, he could be in the storage house, that's where they keep the fruit."

"Okay men, to the storage building, move!" They belly slid to the storage building, Skipper leading. _It sure is good to be back on a mission, even if it is only sad eyes._

They reached the storage building, Private moving to stand next to Skipper. He smiled at the younger before turning again to Kowalski. "Is it locked?"

Kowalski pushed the door open. "Negative Skipper"

All four peered in and saw Mort sitting in the middle of the room surrounded by fruit.

"Mango" he announced, picking up a mango and placing it in a pile of the above mentioned fruit. "Mango. Mango. No! Not mango!" he hugged a banana to his chest. "But I love you banana" he said in his adorable voice.

"Um...?" Skipper asked.

Mort looked up, an innocent smile on his face. "I got mango's, yummy mango's."

Skipper rolled his eyes and picked up the little mouse lemur.

"Mango's!" Mort cried, stretching out his tiny hands to the pile of fruit.

The three remaining penguins gathered mango's in their flippers and deposited them in the lemur habitat.

"There" Skipper said, dropping Mort to the ground of the habitat. Mort immediately scrambled over to the king's feet. King Julian rolled his eye and kicked Mort off.

"Weeee! I'm flying." Mort said happily, flying into the air, until he hit a wall. "Flying hurts" he stated, falling to the ground.

"There, hope your happy Ringtail." Skipper said, slightly annoyed.

"Well, actually you could have kept him, I wasn't really looking forward to having him back." Julian replied.

Skipper ushered his team out of the lemur habitat quickly, feeling his Julian tolerance level diminish quickly.

"Skippah?" Private asked, poking the older. "Can we get snow cones, please?" he turned on the puppy dog eyes, knowing Skipper wouldn't be able to resist them.

Skipper looked at him amused. "If only I could say no to you, guess we're getting some snow cones now."

"Yayyy" Private cheered and the penguins changed direction, now heading for the park and yummy snow cones.

Private hummed happily all the way to the park. They reached the edge of the zoo and Private thought he saw Skipper hesitate for a split second. They continued on and Private wondered if he imagined it. They passed the tree where Skipper had first kissed him and Private smiled, blushing lightly at the memory.

At that moment, Skipper turned around, smiling at Private before saying "Come on Private, keep up, no lagging behind."

Private nodded and fell back into line, smiling again when they reached the snow cone cart.

Skipper knocked out the human while Kowalski kept an eye out for anybody moving their way. Private accepted the snow cone eagerly from his leader, his flipper brushing the others accidentally and causing them both to blush again.

Soon they were heading back to HQ, Skipper and Private walking behind the others. Skipper stopped in his tracks as he saw 'evil' Kowalski peer out from behind a tree. Skipper rubbed his eyes frantically. _I must be hallucinating, its this stupid guilty conscience. _He saw 'good' Kowalski walking ahead of them, oblivious to Skippers situation. He looked back at the tree and saw 'evil' Kowalski sneering at him once again. _What? I mean, he's dead! I killed him! I watched him die, he can't be alive!_ He took a step back and bumped into Private.

"Skippah? Are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost or something."

Skipper took a shaky breath. "I'm fine."

"Oh Private" 'Evil' Kowalski called, causing the youngest to whip around. Private took a step back into Skipper and began shaking violently when he saw the owner of the voice.

"Get the hell away from us!" Skipper shouted angrily.

At this, 'good' Kowalski finally turned around, along with Rico, who involuntarily cringed at the sight of 'evil' Kowalski.

"Holy crap" Skipper muttered, seeing 'evil' Kowalski's eyes glowing a bright red.

"Thought you could kill me Skipper? Well not so lucky for you, you can't and your weak attempts at tying angered my quite a lot.

"But.. I killed you...I watched you die" Skipper whispered.

"You cant kill me Skipper, I can't be defeated, and I only wish I could say the same for you" He ran to the penguin leader, taking him down violently. Skipper gasped as the impact of the ground knocked the air out of him. "Evil' Kowalski smirked over him, leering at him, taunting him.

"Skippah!" Private cried and bravely threw himself at the 'evil' Kowalski. "Get off him! Don't you dare hurt him!"

'Evil' Kowalski laughed. "Aww, that's so cute trying to stand up for your pathetic excuse for a leader." He kicked Private off him, sending him flying to the ground a few feet away.

"Rico? Smoke bomb?" 'Good" Kowalski asked, finally coming to reality.

Rico promptly regurgitated a smoke bomb, throwing it at the 'evil' Kowalski. Both penguins hurriedly scampered over to their leader, pulling him out of harms way.

"Thanks" Skipper coughed, sitting up.

"I think we should get out of here" good' Kowalski suggested nervously.

"Where's Private?" Skipper demanded. He spotted him laying under a tree a few feet away and immediately ran over.

"Private? Are you okay?" He asked, scooping the younger up into his flippers.

"I'm fine Skippah, I'm more worried about you."

Skipper chucked. "You don't have to worry about me, I'm fine." He planted a kiss on top of Private's head. "Don't ever do that again, you could have gotten hurt." he scolded gently.

"I'm sorry Skippah, but he was hurting you and I just couldn't stand there and let him do that."

Skipper fell silent, knowing he would have done the same thing if the situation was reversed.

They reached the others before Private whispered "Are you angry with me?"

"No" Skipper sighed. "I cant be angry with you, I'd do the same thing in your situation." He stroked Private's good flipper gently. "I'm just upset that I put you in that situation, if you got hurt I'd never forgive myself."

"Now we can get out of here" 'good' Kowalski said as the other two penguins reached them.

"Yes, lets get the hell out of here" Skipper agreed.

They quickly headed towards the zoo, but were stopped when four steel cages dropped down from the sky, trapping them.

Skipper watched horrified as Private fell from his flippers and tumbled onto the grass, a steel cage trapping him.

"Skippah!" Private cried in fear, trying to reach out to the older. Skipper grasped the younger's flipper but it slowly fell out of his grip.

"Private!" He threw himself against the bars of the cage in frustration.

Private looked up with fear in his eyes. "I'm okay Skippah" he lied.

Skipper tore his gaze away, knowing this couldn't be good, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach. He looked to the other member of his team, both Kowalski and Rico looked shocked. _What the hell is this? How did I get my team, the people I care most about into this mess?_

"Peng-u-ins" Said a familiar voice and Skipper knew things were going from bad to worse.

"Blowhole" he muttered, turning to face his arch nemesis.

"Well hello Skipper, I missed you too" the dolphin smirked.

Skipper glared at the dolphin with hatred, 'evil' Kowalski appearing beside him.

"Oh, there you are" Blowhole said, turning to his sidekick before putting his attention back at the penguins before him. "Now to deal with the peng-u-ins!" he cackled.

"Curse you Blowhole!" Skipper shouted, wrapping his flippers around the bars of his cage, and causing it to shake violently.

"Poor little Skipper and his team, no one to save you now!"

"Leave my team out of it, its me you want, you can have me if you let my team go" Skipper pleaded.

"Well, isn't that noble of you Skipper, but why would I do that? I have all four of you captured now!" The dolphin sneered happily.

Skipper hung his head. _I'm sorry. I'm sorry for bringing the most important people to me into this mess, I'm so sorry._

Skipper heard Private's cries and looked over quickly, but he was knocked out cold before he could respond.


	15. Chapter 15

chapter 15

**A/N** so I think there's going to be around 2 chapters left, and the last may just be an epilouge, I'm not sure yet, anyways, sorry if the first part is too sad, i wasnt in a cheery mood writting it xD

Skipper woke up in Dr. Blowhole's lair, he knew it the instance he opened his eyes. He saw Private watching him in fear and felt a tug at his heartstrings.

"I'm sorry" Skipper whispered softly.

"What?" Private asked, not hearing his leader.

"I'm sorry" Skipper said again, with a catch in his voice.

"It's not your fault Skipper" Kowalski piped up. "Stop blaming yourself"

"But I'm the leader, I have to take responsibility for this.. I should have known."

"Its nobody's fault Skipper" Kowalski stated.

"It wont matter when we get out of here Skippah" Private said. "We'll get out of here."

"Yeah, you guys will" Skipper said.

"Skippah?" Private asked confused.

"Its a touching thought Skipper, but I'm afraid we cant let that happen, its all of us or no one." Kowalski said, Rico nodding in agreement.

Skipper held up a flipper. "Don't argue, you don't have a choice, I've made up my mind, when I distract Blowhole you run, that's an order."

Kowalski slumped, looking defeated.

It was at this moment Private realized what Skipper was implying. "Skippah! No you cant do that! You just cant..." He cried, burying his head in his flippers. "What about never swim alone? What about relatively few penguins get left behind! You cant leave me Skippah" he whispered the last sentence, a plea for Skipper to change his mind.

"Please Private, don't make this any harder than it is" Skipper said, feeling his eyes become wet from tears.

"Hard on you? Skippah, do you know how hard it would be without you? Skippah, I cant..."

Skipper felt a lump in his throat and blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay. "I cant just watch my team die...I love you" he whispered.

"Then don't do this! I would rather die than lose you!" Private wailed, not caring who heard him anymore, tears falling down his face freely.

Skipper felt himself choke up and knew he had to get them out before he broke down completely.

"Rico?" he turned to his friend. "You got a bobby pin or paper clip or something?"

Rico nodded solemnly and handed Skipper a paper clip dejectedly.

Skipper bent it furiously, unlocking his cage in an instant and glancing warily at Blowhole's turned back as he crept to Kowalski's cage.

"Its been an honour serving with you solder" He said, missing his team already. Kowalski nodded numbly before hugging his leader awkwardly. Skipper knew it was a huge gesture, Kowalski wasn't very good with words or feelings.

He turned to Rico's cage next, quickly freeing the penguin.

"Rico hugged Skipper tightly. "Miss you 'kipper" he said sadly, moving to stand next to Kowalski.

Skipper took a deep breath as he walked over to the last cage, Private's. He concentrated on picking the lock, so he wouldn't have to look at the penguin inside. Finally, the door swung open and he looked to the younger. Private threw himself at the older within milliseconds. "Please don't..." He murmured sadly, pleading with his eyes.

Skipper hugged him tighter. "I love you remember that, no matter what happens."

Private cried even harder, burying his head in the leaders feathers.

"Hey" Skipper said softly, lifting up Private's head. "Don't cry, you never know, I might make it out of here alive, you got to think positive."

"Thinking positive hurts Skippah, it hurts too much after you've been disappointed."

Skipper stroked the younger's feathers softly. " I'll always love you, and no matter what happens, I'll always be with you, in here" he whispered, pointing to the younger's heart. Private blushed, but knew it was true.

"I wish I could hate you for this Skippah, but I cant... Your the best thing that ever happened to me and I love you much Skippah, it hurts Skippah, I know its selfish but please..." Private trailed off.

"I'm sorry" Skipper whispered before letting him go.

"No!" Private shouted defiantly.

"Private, please don't make me push you away." Skipper said quietly.

Private stood there still.

Skipper painfully turned his back, walking away. He heard Private follow him and turned around. "No Private" he said, gently pushing the younger towards Kowalski and Rico. Private didn't budge and Skipper shoved him more roughly this time, spotting 'evil' Kowalski advancing on them. "GO!" he shouted at the younger frantically. Private took a step back towards Skipper but saw 'evil' Kowalski and turned slightly, taking one look back at Skipper before running after Rico and 'good' Kowalski towards the exit.

Skipper watched heartbroken. _Run little Private. Run as far away from here as you can._

"Get them!" Dr. Blowhole ordered, but it was too late as the penguins disappeared out he exit. "Well Skipper" He said, turning to the penguin. " I was going to make you watch each of your team members die one by one, but apparently that isn't possible. Ugh! Why is it my plans never work out? Guess we'll just have to improvise. Why is it that you always my foil my plans Skipper!" The dolphin shouted angrily. "You" he shouted pointing to a lobster. "Who was in charge of the brain chip?" he demanded

The lobster pointed to another. "It was Fred's job"

"Why did the brain chip malfunction?"

"I dunno" The lobster shrugged. "But I sent in a device malfunction complaint.

Blowhole sighed. "I'll deal with you later" he said, waving the lobster away.

_Blowhole was responsible for the brain chip? It was Blowhole!_ Skipper wanted to slap himself, it was so obvious. "The brain chip" he started.

"Was a brilliant plan until it just stopped working, curse you technology!" Blowhole said.

"So it was you" Skipper questioned

"You obviously aren't too bright if you haven't caught on to that already" the dolphin smirked. "Yes, I put the brain chip in last time I had you captured, I thought it would come in handy one day. Such a genius plan, you left your team and for some added drama for my entertainment, right after you had your little heart broken. It was quite amusing, seeing you so helpless when I set up the barrier in the park. I thought that would give my Kowalski clone enough time to whip your pathetic excuse for a team into shape, so they could help me beat you, wouldn't that be the perfect plan, your own team turning on you. But that plan got fuddled up when the brain chip stopped working. Soon after that I thought, what's the point of the barrier, I'll let him find his way to me. But I'm not very patient, so I decided to bring you to myself, thanks to my Kowalski clone, now I have you exactly where I want you Skipper, at my mercy!"

Private followed Kowalski and Rico dejectedly out onto the rocky terrain surrounding Blowhole's lair. _Skipper's still inside there, we cant leave him! He rescued me, now I finally get to rescue him._ He tugged on Kowalski flipper.

The scientist turned around, looking down at the little puddle of tears and sadness that has become Private.

"We cant just leave him" Private said sadly.

"And exactly how are we going to get him out of there?" Kowalski asked.

"Well, I kind of have a plan. We could dig through the rocky roof and then rescue Skippah, and then go back to HQ and try to forget this."

"Well, that's well detailed and planned" Kowalski said sarcastically.

Private glared at him with wet eyes. "Don't you want to have Skippah back?"

Well yes Private, but we cant just rush in recklessly."

"I don't care! We don't have the time. I'm going to rescue Skippah and I don't care if you help or not but your not going to stop me" He shouted, scrambling up the rocky cliff sides.

"Private!" Kowalski shouted and began crawling after the younger, Rico following.

"Private" Kowalski gasped as they reached the top. "We'll help, we can't let Skipper go down without a fight."

Private tried to smile and hugged Kowalski. "Thank you"

Rico handed them each a shovel and they began working, knowing time was important.

"Bring out... the giant laser!" Dr. Blowhole ordered.

Skipper choked out a strangled laugh. "Nice name"

"The name is a work in progress, I'm totally open to suggestions" Blowhole defended.

"Giant laser sir" a lobster announced, rolling it into the room.

"Now let he fun begin!" Blowhole cackled, powering the device on.

_What a way to go out, at the hands, er- flippers, of my arch nemesis. I may have failed, but I'm not going down without a fight!_

Skipper kicked Blowhole before he could tie him down, circling the dolphin cautiously.

"Oh Skipper, you always want to do things the hard way." Blowhole sighed, moving to the helm of the laser.

Skipper gulped. _At least Private doesn't have to see this, I love you little buddy. _He dodged out of the way stealthily as he saw the laser beam come at him. He crouched in a defensive position, anticipating Blowhole's next attack.

"Don't try to run Skipper" Blowhole warned. "You wont win."

Skipper grimaced as he once again dodged the laser's beam. He saw a mirror conveniently lying on the ground and swiped it. _That's either extreme good luck, or it was planted there._ This time when the laser came at him he deflected it away with the mirror. He heard a lobster scream but he didn't dare take his eyes off Blowhole.

"A mirror? But how?" Blowhole glared at his minions. "Which one of you dropped it? Never mind, it wont matter after I beat Skipper."

The dolphin aimed the laser once again at Skipper, but the penguin wasn't quick enough. The laser beam hit him in the foot. His agonizing scream echoed throughout the lair.

"Skippah!" Private cried when he heard the scream, crying when he realized his leader was in pain, or gone...

The younger penguin's shovel snapped and he began digging with his bare flippers at the rock and rubble that separated him from Skipper

Blowhole laughed evilly, advancing on the fallen penguin. He aimed the laser once again. " I was hoping this would be slow and painful, but I don't have the time. Although from the looks of it, I nailed the painful part."

Skipper grimaced as he took the last energy he had to redirect the beam to the dolphin using the mirror.

"If I go down, your coming down with me" Skipper rasped.

"NO!" Blowhole screeched, withering in pain as the laser hit him. He fell to the floor and began yelling at him minions.

Two lobsters quickly appeared with a stretcher.

"Activate self destruct!" Dr. Blowhole commanded weakly.

'Self destruct initiated' a mechanical voice echoed. Blowhole and his minions pilled into a giant submarine and escaped into the night, leaving Skipper laying on the floor, helpless and filled with anguishing pain.


	16. Chapter 16

chapter 16

**A/N** so this is the second last chapter, the last one wil just be an epilogue though. I just want to say thanks to everybody who read this story and reviewed and stuff, knowing people actually read this story made me want to update more, becuase if nobody read it, i probably wouldn't have the energy to finish it, so thanks :'D

"Self destruct initiated"

Private's eyes widened as he heard the voice and turned to Kowalski, who was standing shocked behind him.

"5 minutes" The mechanical voice announced and began a countdown.

Private began digging frantically. _I can't let Skipper die; I won't give up until..._ He broke out into sobs, thinking of a dead Skipper. _Skipper, I'm coming, I'm not going to leave you. Just hang on, please!_ He dug furiously now, ignoring his scraped and bleeding flippers. "Skippah!" He cried into the soil, desperately trying to reach his leader.

"3 minutes" The voice announced.

At this Kowalski stood up slowly. "Its over. It's hopeless. Skipper's gone..." he wiped away a tear he didn't know he was capable of.

"NO!" Private screeched. "I'm not giving up! We can still save him!"

"I'm sorry Private. There's not enough time, Skipper would... want us to save ourselves" He turned way, embarrassed by his rare display of emotion.

"I never thought you were a quitter Kowalski," Private whispered, feeling his broken flipper strike a rock and cried out in pain, but continued on. "You can give up, but I won't, I won't give up on Skippah."

Kowalski turned away sadly. "Private please, getting yourself killed isn't going to help Skipper."

"No, but I'd be with him. I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life wondering if I could have saved him, if I only hadn't given up, I'm not going to have that burden on me. If I die saving Skippah then at least he knows I tried, that I let nothing stop me from trying and persevering."

Kowalski had no reply, pondering what relationship the youngest had with their leader to make him act this way. _Yes, I would like to save Skipper, but would I risk my own life for him? I feel so selfish, but he won't be forgotten, ever_.

Kowalski and Rico turned away, walking down the steep cliffs to seek refuge.

"2 minutes" The voice said.

"AHHHH!" Private yelled, pounding at the dirt angrily, seeing his broken and bruised flippers seep blood into the muddy brown soil and rocks. He punched the soil in anger again, feeling close to defeat. He felt himself fall through air and was too shocked to react. He landed in what seemed like a control room and stood up swiftly, overjoyed. _I finally made it!_ He looked up, searching for Skipper.

"Skippah!" Private shouted frantically, knowing every second counted. He heard a muffled reply and sprinted into the main room. He spotted his leader lying on the floor, his foot gushing blood.

"Private?" Skipper asked, astonished. "Private" He said again, this time a hint of anger in his voice. "Get the hell out of here while you can. What are you doing? GO!"

"No" Private said defiantly. "I can't do that Skippah". Private searched for something to wrap the older's foot with.

"One minute, 30 seconds"

"Shut up!" Private shouted frustrated.

He quickly knelt down beside his leader, wrapping the foot as gently while effectively as he could. Skipper moaned in pain as Private moved him.

"Private, please save yourself" Skipper pleaded.

"Shhh, you have to rest Skippah, I'm not leaving you"

"51 seconds"

Private hoisted Skipper up onto his back, planning to piggyback him to safety. He grunted with the effort. _Skipper's not exactly light._

"Its okay, I can walk" Skipper argued, not wanting to cause Private any more problems.

"No you can't" Private said, stating the obvious and making his way to the exit painfully slow.

Private felt his heart tingle at the feel of Skipper so close. _If we die, at least it will be with Skipper. NO! You can't think like that, stop it!_ He continued on his slow trudge to the door.

"30 seconds"

Private scrambled now, launching himself and Skipper out the exit.

"Hold you breath!" Private shouted before they both plunged underwater. Private grasped the older's flipper, pulling him through the water as fast as he could, his heart pounding. He swam as fast as he could, but he wasn't fast enough.

Private heard the powerful explosion behind them and felt shards of rock, metal and dirt rain down on them. He dived deeper, swimming even further away before going to the surface desperately for air. He gasped as he broke the surface, peering at Skipper worriedly.

Skipper also gasped for air, feeling woozy from holding his breath for so long. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before turning to the younger. _He rescued me, even though I told him not to. He risked his life for me..._

"That was the stupid, most dangerous, reckless thing you could have done!" Skipper said angrily. His voice softened and he pulled the younger to him, Private could have sworn he saw tears in the others eyes. "Thank you" Skipper murmured, hugging him tightly. He opened his beak again to speak, but Private covered it with his good flipper.

"Please don't yell at me yet Skippah, at least not until we're safe."

Private said, searching for any help he could find. He spotted tiny island on the horizon and asked Skipper. "Think you can make it over there?" There was no response from the leader, he had passed out.

_You can't die, not after I rescued you!_ Private began making his way towards the island, Skipper half in his arms.

He could feel himself weakening considerably as they reached the tiny island. He shoved Skipper onto the beach and collapsed beside him. He snuggled next to his unconscious leader, resting. He felt the sand next to him become sticky and sat up, holding his beak to keep from puking. _Skippers foot_. The leaders foot was soaked in blood, while more gushed out. _Blood. So much blood._

He stumbled backwards and promptly puked into a bush. He stood up, afraid to look back at Skipper. He distracted himself by picking up leaves to wrap the foot. He walked back to skipper, kneeling to inspect the injuries more closely. He peered at the foot, feeling the bile rise in his throat again. _It doesn't even really look like a foot._ There was a big gash half the length of the foot from the laser where the blood was pouring from. He cringed, trying to stop the bleeding, wrapping the foot gingerly. He went to stroke Skipper's feathers sadly, finding another sticky spot. _Oh Skipper, your beautiful feathers._ The leaders usually pearly white stomach feathers were slowly being stained a reddish tinge.

Private gathered some water from the ocean, dabbing it on Skippers wound.

"I don't know if you can hear me Skippah, but this might hurt a bit, I'm sorry."

Skipper tensed as the water was dabbed on. Private finished cleaning Skippers wounds as well as he could and gently rested his head on the others chest, wrapping his flipper around the older's, listening to the 'thump thump' of Skippers beating heart.

Skipper opened an eye, his whole body aching. He moaned in pain as his foot began throbbing again. "Private" he said sternly.

Private could tell by his leaders tone that he was in trouble. "I'm sorry Skippah, but I couldn't leave you. I know I disobeyed an order but I'm sorry, I know your going to yell at me, I kind of deserve it, maybe I'm selfish not wanting to imagine a life without you, but I just couldn't give up"

"I'm not going to yell, as much as I want to...thank you, again, even if it was the most stupid thing you could have done, you risked your life for me, and I'm touched that you'd do that for me, your too good for me, you have a good heart Private...I don't know what I can say..."

"Its okay Skippah, I think I know now what they mean by blinded by love. I was so scared that you would die that I didn't think about anything other than saving you. I didn't care about the dangers or even if I died, they seemed unimportant Skippah, all I though about was saving you."

Skipper began sniffling. "That's what scares me Private, I don't want you to get hurt for me"

"Skippah, I'd do anything for you, your not going to change my mind, so don't even try."

Skipper sighed, knowing the little penguin could be stubborn. "My stupid foot!" he shouted in pain.

Private scampered, wishing he could do something to help. He gathered some leaves to re-wrap Skipper's foot and watched as Kowalski and Rico tiredly collapsed onto the beach.

"Kowalski! Rico!" Private shouted happily, dropping the leaves promptly and running over to the other members of the team.

Kowalski stood dumfounded. "Private?" he asked, not believing his eyes. "But... but...you made it? You're alive!"

Rico wrapped the smallest into a bear hug before spotting his leader and running over.

"You got to help Skippah, he's hurt really bad," Private said urgently.

"And your not?" Kowalski surveyed the bloody and bruised penguin before him. _Worse than this? That's horrifying. _

Both penguins quickly ran to their leader.

Kowalski saw him and knew instantly that is was bad. "I have to go get the submarine and take him to the vet, its too bad for me to do anything." Before he finished he was already diving back into the water.

"Hurry, please" Private whispered softly, pressing a flipper to Skippers foot to try to stop the bleeding.

Skipper opened his eyes at the pressure. "You're so brave," he whispered.

"No I'm not Skippah," Private laughed.

"Yes you are Private, don't you dare say that. Your the bravest little guy a know. You saved me Private, you could have died, I think that's brave, if it isn't I don't know what is. And your still here with me, you didn't leave..."

"I'm not brave Skippah, I was scared." Private objected. "There's a huge difference between fear and bravery. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to help you, that there wouldn't be time, that you might die. No Skippah, I wasn't brave at all, I was petrified, I'd never been so scared in my life Skippah." His voice cracked and he took a deep breath.

"I'd say that's pretty brave Private, most people wouldn't have wanted to take the risk, they would have been more afraid of dying than losing someone. It's okay to be afraid, but you didn't let that stop you, it fuelled you, it happens to everybody and I still call it bravery, because its you."

"I'm not afraid of dying Skippah" The youngest stated bluntly. "What's there to be afraid of?"

"And you say you aren't brave" Skipper whispered, struggling to sit up. "Holy... you look terrible," he said stroking the younger.

"Not as bad as you" Private said with a smile.

Skipper laughed, leaning against the younger for support. "Good thing there's no mirror around" he joked.

Private smiled and realized the bleeding had stopped. He pulled his flipper away and leaned down with a sigh.

"Go sleep" Rico said, appearing next to them.

Private realized how close he was sitting to Skipper and scooted away quickly. _Oh dear, I didn't know he was here, I thought he went with Kowalski. Oh dear! How much did he hear? Does he know? Is it that obvious?_

"Go sleep" Rico said again, pushing Private against Skipper with a small smile. "Aww" he said before waddling a few feet away, leaving the two penguins to the sleep they so desperately needed.

Private snuggled in closer to his leader. "Its okay Skippah, everything's going to be okay now," he murmured reassuringly.


	17. epilogue

Epiloge

~Private~

I was so scared when we brought Skippah to the zoo vet. But Kowalski said it was for the best, and he was right, Skippah did get better, eventually. I went to visit him everyday, Kowalski and Rico too.

The days without Skippah passed slow, they seemed to drag on. No one really knew what to do with ourselves. I couldn't even pay attention to the Lunacorns!

Then Skippah woke up, I'll never forget it, I was so happy! Now he's home, where he belongs. Even though Skippah keeps telling me that Blowhole is still out there somewhere, probably plotting yet another revenge, I don't care. When I sit next to Skippah, when I look at him, they all see unimportant. The only thing that matters is now, that I get to be with Skippah, because when I'm with him everything is perfect.

~Skipper~

His eyes, they are the most beautiful blue, and his laugh, its contagious, that's what I thought those long days I was stuck in the vet's. Ugh. Those days were horrible.

He cant do anything I hate, even when he foolishly risked his own life to save me. I wish I could be angry at him for that, I cant hate him, although I am touched, and incredibly grateful. It's the utmost sacrifice, your life for someone else's. He's a warm bundle of happiness and warmth when I hold him and every time I feel special that he chose me.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't always this mushy, I blame Private for that, but not in a bad way. He's changed me, for the better I think, now I have someone to live for, I don't go running into danger blindly, now I have someone who will always be waiting for me, waiting for those precious moments we have together, those moments are the best of all. I feel blessed every second of the day and when I feel the thumping of his heart against mine I remember how much I love him.


End file.
